I sat with a friend/teammate the other day, talking about what we do for a living, life in general and what really counts. She made the statement, "Erin, our lives are a dream. We are living a complete DREAM." I was surprised at the impact that simple yet profound statement had on me. I am living a dream. An immediate array of emotion passed through me as I thought about her words, I am indeed living a dream, just someone else's dream.

I think we all have some kind of idea of what our 'perfect' life would look like. My paradise may and quite possibly does look very different than yours. Nonetheless, we all have our own ideal scenario of what existence should look like. Very few have the opportunity to see their dreams materialized, resulting in many dissatisfied, unhappy, and bitter people. There are the lucky few who watch their childhood dreams/goals and aspirations become a reality, but I think if we were to ask any of them if it's all they thought it would be, their answer would be no.

It's been awhile since the last healthy hint, our very much-loved French teammate, little body; HUGE heart reminded me today in the airport, healthy hint #2 is long overdue. Since I wrote last, it's been a whirlwind as the season has kicked off, and now we are well into the swing of things heading into the Olympic break. Our team is such a great mix of different personalities coming together, united for a common goal. I often watch the team, and think about each player and their life journey that has brought them to San Antonio this summer of '08. What hurdles, struggles, trials, obstacles, and pains each has had to endure and pass through to make it as a professional athlete. Competing among the best female basketball players in the world since a young age, I think of all the sacrifice that has been made to get here. I wonder where each one of us would be if the WNBA did not exist, what we would be doing, where we would be, and how we would be different having traveled a different road of life.

Which brings me back to the conversation my teammate and I had a few days ago about living a dream. My immediate thought was this isn't MY dream; I'm living someone else's dream. And the old, familiar ache of 'what could've been' flashed through my mind. But it was quickly replaced with a calm, peace that was not there during my early years of the WNBA. About 5 years ago, this statement about living the dream would have invoked in me something like resentment. Frustration with the fact that basketball had taken so much of my life, taken me far from my dear family for so many years, taken away the opportunities of other career paths, taken me from the love of my life; surfing, the ocean, and nature yeah, I would say a root of bitterness definitely was evident.

For many years I gave into the temptation of lusting and mourning after the lost life that 'could' and should have been…my 'dream life.' I'm not the same person I was five years ago. These things I mentioned are still things I love and cherish. But none of these could ever make me happy in and of themselves, and for a long time, I let the sadness of lost 'dreams' steal the joy that was available for me each and every day.

The thing is, joy, peace and contentment do not come from externalities. No material thing, scenario, situation, place or even a person can make me happy. We've all heard it before, but your happiness comes from within you. Had I moved to the Islands so many years ago (my dream life) and pursued the only life I deemed worthy of happy living, it would only have been a matter of time before I was discontent (again) deciding that I had made a mistake and chosen the wrong dream. If only I could go to this place, have that job, be with this person, then I would be happy. Do you see the cycle? The never-ending hunt for a fleeting utopia? This is a thirst unquenchable, and many spend their whole lives seeking destination satisfaction, disappointed to find it not on the map. Therefore, our 'dream' lives usually end up serving only one purpose, to steal today's joy, today's treasure, today's small miracles seen in the simple, yet pure fulfillment of living each day committed to that which you are passionate about. Understanding that the dream is found within. You ARE destination satisfaction.

It unfortunately took me much too long to learn this valuable lesson. The lesson that our dreams are accomplished when we find that which makes our heart beat with purpose, with fulfillment, with joy, peace, and passion. That thing which brings light to the darkness, the solid rock to stand on during this vicious storm called life.

My rock is and has been my faith in Jesus Christ, without Him I am indeed very lost. With Him, I know that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing at this time in my life. I've dropped all expectations about what my life 'should' look like, and accepted life on life's terms. I've been given absolute freedom, as I know that my peace and contentment does not depend on nor come from my situation or circumstance. It comes from a place within me, from a Source much higher than anything I can and will experience in this material world. I can relax and have peace knowing that He is in complete control.

I no longer sit and think about what could have been, what should have been, dwelling in the disappointment of the unaccomplished. Yeah, so playing basketball professionally was never 'my dream', so what? It has become my dream life, as I've learned how to embrace every day with all it has to offer, as a treasure and precious gift beyond all material value. I've learned that what we do is irrelevant, it's how we do it that counts. We have the choice to make our present circumstances, situations our dream lives because the true source of freedom, light, life and joy comes from within. We each have to find that source, that fountain within us that springs out all we find worth living for. Only then do we really start living, and the miracle is, we take our paradise with us no matter where we go. For me, my faith in Jesus Christ is what makes me tick. Without it, no 'perfect' scenario of life would ever be satisfying, no situation, or earthly circumstance (even the most thoroughly thought out dream life) could bring any fulfillment, because IT CANT BE FOUND WITH THE EYES, IT MUST COME FROM WITHIN. Circumstances cannot make you happy, nor can they steal your joy, unless you let it. My paradise is with me wherever I go...talk about freedom!! I encourage you strongly; Find that thing, the rock in which you are able to draw on for your purpose and passion in this life. Take a look at the areas of your life that have been neglected, examine what is missing and take action. Once you take care of your insides, your external situations will lose their negative hold forever.

I think about the recent conversation I had with my teammate, I actually smiled and agreed with what she said because she was right, the reality is, I AM living a dream. My dream is to know my Savior more and more every day, and that is being fulfilled, giving me all the joy and peace in the world. Maybe you're asking how the heck is this a 'healthy hint'? I don't think there is anything more important than truly understanding and grasping this concept in regards to living a healthy life. It all starts from within, as I stated in my first column, every area of our life will be affected either negatively or positively depending upon what is going on in our minds, hearts, and souls. Healthy living is a byproduct of taking care of our insides. I think there is no better gift you can give yourself than giving the proper attention, care and time to your spirit, soul and mind. You will NOT be able to contain the joy that overflows once this is done. I'm living proof, and excited for you all to experience it too! May you find that which brings you joy, light, peace, and life. :)